I feel for the women, especially moms. I really do! I can't imagine being a woman. I'm glad I'm not! I don't understand them and I certainly can't relate to them.
Don't get me wrong, I deal with my own personal emotions once in a while (all men have them, don't be fooled), but the emotional make up of a woman doesn't compare. The Bible calls the woman the "weaker vessel" and yet men are scared to death of women. They can be like ticking time bombs ready to go off at any moment. And we have all heard the saying, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
So how should men in leadership positions deal with women? In many regards, we shouldn't! The Bible clearly places men in authority positions in the church and in the family. No need to question it, debate it, figure out why...it is pretty clear. But in regards to men dealing with women, there is very little:
- "Honor widows that are widows indeed." (1 Timothy 5:3)
- "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." (Colossians 3:19)
and then there is this one...
- "The aged women...teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children" (Titus 2:3)
In this passage, preachers are told to teach sound doctrine that puts everyone in their place (I mean that in a positive way). And it is the older women's place to teach the younger women. Other than faithful widows who have no family and are cared for by the church (a case we seldom see today), every woman in the church has their own authority: a dad, step dad, foster dad...or husband.
I'm glad I am only responsible for two women: my wife and my daughter (and I can't be more thankful for the one's I've got). One day (Lord willing, MANY years from now) I'll give my daughter to another man (thinking about it makes me want to buy a gun), and then I'll only be responsible for my wife. This is the way God designed it. We don't need to deal with other men's wives or daughters...that is just a problem waiting to happen.
This can be particularly difficult in youth ministries. Youth pastor's should never usurp the authority and responsibility given to any young person's parents (unfortunately there are many parents who willingly give teachers, youth pastors, etc. this type of liberty in their child's life...and it is dangerous). Nor do I believe the youth pastor should deal with the mother of the youths (any more than is necessary), but he should deal with the father as much as is possible.
It is also important to point out that (it is my opinion, but I believe I have biblical basis to back it up) a youth pastor should be married and therefore his wife may be able to deal with young ladies, or at least be present when he is dealing with them (it should be between the youth pastor and his wife to what degree the wife is actively involved in the ministry).
I realize that in our culture there are many cases that come up where young ladies don't really have father figures in their lives. These cases are heartbreaking and will have to be dealt with carefully, but I believe the principle still applies: Older women should deal with younger women, and men should lovingly and patiently lead their own wives and daughters.
God bless, and may your desire and passion for ministry grow as you addict yourself to it (1 Corinthians 16:15)
List of Articles